<![CDATA[
<meta name='google-adsense-platform-account' content='ca-host-pub-1556223355139109'/>
<meta name='google-adsense-platform-domain' content='blogspot.com'/>
<!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css);
div.b-mobile {display:none;}
</style>
</head><body><script type="text/javascript">
function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) {
if(window.addEventListener) {
window.addEventListener('load',
function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false);
} else {
window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; });
}
}
</script>
<div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div>
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script>
<script type="text/javascript">
gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() {
if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) {
gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({
url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/876171860344439140?origin\x3dhttp://akiracool.blogspot.com',
where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"),
id: "navbar-iframe"
});
}
});
</script>
]]>
FANTASY LIFE.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
everyone has their life story and experience, to me it is nice to read on others memoir... thus I have decided to write down my life... all these started from 7 years ago...
My first girlfriend was when I 17... really naive at that time... chased her for few weeks and finally got her heart... never thought that she is not as naive as I was... she was smart to know what she wants in life at the age of 17... humiliated by her mother in front of my parents... She said: " you cannot even afford to pay for your own school uniform, what makes you think that you can give my daughter a good and comfortable future?"
second girlfriend came in shortly after that... she just broke up with her ex... and my and my best friend were vying for her at the same time... but though... none of us managed to get her heart... she went back to her ex... some gals are meant to be teach a good lesson... anyway i cut my wrist for her... it was my first attempt of suicide... I did not die after that... because I never cut deep enough... but the scar followed me for life til now...
in between these... I had a few crush on several gals... I will not list down because those are not important... after that... I met her... she is the only gal I had ever love... the feeling cannot explained by words... We sticked with each other for almost four years... and broke off for few times... I swallowed pills... tried to jump from 7th floor... landed in police station and IMH... all sort of painful experience I had been went through with her... I keep telling myself to forget all these now... but I feel terrible...
she told me:" you complained that god is unfair to you, but god reward you with a gal, who stayed with you for 4 years... faithful to you, never betrayed you... what do you expect more?" seriously at that point of time I already lost her... all these words are like 1000-tons hammer... directly impact on my heart makes me lost... I wish I could be more mature... just a little bit more to treasure her...
maybe in my past life... I owe gals too much... that is why I am paying back hard this life... somehow I losing my track... perhaps my life is getting nearer to the end... I cough terribly... I want to live on... I am not afraid of anything... I just worried for my family and my best friends... all the while they have stood by me for these few months when I really down... thanks for you all... If not because of you, I will not have the will power to fight on and write down this entry...
I already planned for my life for next 5-10 years... no point plan too far... I will not be able to know what will happened after that... I want to be happy now... regardless of the source... to me I cried almost every night for last 3 months... pointless... cannot think much for now... I want to live happily even the time might not be long... we all only get to live once and we must treasure it... although it is short but make sure you never regret...
I want to live...
Please...
---------------Leaving on Fantasy--------------- ; {11:36 PM}
_________________________________________________________
